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GOLF QUOTES |
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Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk. ~~~Grantland Rice
Golf appeals to the idiot in us and
the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their
frequent inability to count past five.
~~~~~~~~~~~~John Updike
It is almost impossible to remember
how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~Robert Lynd
If profanity had an influence on the
flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it
is. ~~~~~~~~Horace G. Hutchinson
They say golf is like life, but don't
believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.
~~~~~~~~~~Gardner Dickinson
I guess there is nothing that will
get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed
enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you
forget to hate your enemies.
~~~~~~~~~~~Will Rogers
If a lot of people gripped a knife
and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.
~~~~~~~~~~Sam Snead
Golf is a day spent in a round of
strenuous idleness.
~~~~~~~~~William Wordsworth
What other people may find in poetry
or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Arnold
Palmer
The reason the pro tells you to keep
your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
~~~~~~~~~~~Phyllis Diller
If you want to take long walks, take
long walks. If you want to hit things with a stick, hit things with a
stick. But there's no excuse for combining the two and putting the
results on TV. Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns.
~~~~~~~~~National Lampoon
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even
putt.
~~~~~~~~~~Dean Martin
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
~~~~~Mark Twain
I regard golf as an expensive way of
playing marbles.
~~~~~~~~~~G.K. Chesterton
If you are going to throw a club, it
is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't
have to waste energy going back to pick it up.
~~~~~~~~~~~Tommy Bolt
Man blames fate for other accidents,
but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole in one.
~~~~~~~~~~~Author Unknown
When I die, bury me on the golf
course so my husband will visit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~Author Unknown
I don't say my golf game is bad, but
if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced.
~~~~~~~~~~~~Author Unknown
I've spent most of my life golfing...
the rest I've just wasted.
~~~~Author Unknown
They call it golf because all the
other four letter words were taken.
~~~~~~~~~~~Raymond Floyd
My handicap? Woods and irons.
~~~~~~~~Chris Codiroli
The ardent golfer would play Mount
Everest if somebody would put a flagstick on top.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Pete Dye
Golf is played by twenty million
mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
~~~~~~~~~~~Jim Bishop
I'm hitting the woods just great...
but having a terrible time getting out of them!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Author
Unknown
I know I am getting better at golf
because I'm hitting fewer spectators.
~~~~~~~~~~Gerald Ford
It took me seventeen years to get
three thousand hits in baseball. I
did it in one afternoon on the golf
course.
~~~~~~~~~Hank Aaron
Golf is a game in which you yell
"fore," shoot six, and write down five.
~~~~~~~~~~~Paul Harvey
The game of golf would lose a great
deal if croquet mallets and
billiard cues were allowed on the
putting green.
~~~~~~~~~~~Ernest Hemingway
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a
beautiful partner, and you can
keep the clubs and the fresh air.
~~~~~~~~~Jack Benny
The only time my prayers are never
answered is on the golf course.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Billy Graham
Reverse every natural instinct and do
the opposite of what you are
inclined to do, and you will probably
come very close to having a perfect
golf swing.
~~~~~~~~~~Ben Hogan
If you think it's hard to meet new
people, try picking up the wrong
golf ball. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Jack Lemmon
I play in the low 80s. If it's any
hotter than that, I won't play.
~~~~~~~~~~~~Joe E. Lewis
It's considered good sportsmanship to
not pick up lost golf balls while
they are still rolling.
~~~~~~Mark Twain
Don't play too much golf. Two rounds
a day are plenty.
~~~~~~~~Harry Vardon
Golf is a game in which one endeavors
to control a ball with
implements ill adapted for the
purpose.
~~~~~~~~Woodrow Wilson
Golf and sex are the only things you
can enjoy without being good
at them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Jimmy
DeMaret
May thy ball lie in green pastures...
and not in still waters.
~~~Author Unknown
The difference between golf and
government is that in golf you can't
improve your lie.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~George Carlin
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